Nothing remains,
Nothing will be unchanged,
As the fire and flames consumes all,
But the chains,
And our memories.
Thru dawn and dusk,
Fog and musk,
Being with you will always be a must.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Poems:
The girl stares in the mirror she sees all the bad &pain she thinks she is not strong enough but she does not realize how strong she is she is the most kind hearted person, who bleeds love for all the suffering she sees the world through gods eyes how will the world live without such a gift is a question I ask she sees through the dark and brings in light she is everything and her enemies are nothin
g but dust.
made for taryn, never forget.
HELPLESS:
A girl stands in front of the mirror and sees a happy girl but she knows its fake happiness, she feels it in her heart. She does not know what to do or where to go. She is stuck with opinions that lead to sorrow.She needs help but is afriad to ask it. Her heart belongs to one person even though she knows it will end badly. But she tries to fight it and hopes one day it will work but until then she is helpless.
UNHEALED:
I have had problems. My heart is too big and i trust and care about everyone. I loved a guy three times, i opened my heart to him, he stabbed it with a cold look in his eyes.I watched in shock i could not believe what happened. I started to cry and blood replaced my tears. I felt cold and wanted nothing else but to die and be at peace but i had friends to stop the unhealed wound and they saved me so i want to say thank you.
i believe that once you find love, you should hold on to it with your last breath. cuz if you let it go you will lose a part of yourself. Live. Love. And Be Happy. Cuz nothing lasts forever..♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
i recently came upon an endangered species: normal people! thats right i was so scared and curious that when i went down the stairs i stepped on an ant and cried for hours over his death. btw i hate normal people, they killed bob...
if i cried would u care? if i died would u fell the lost? if we were friends would you fight with me? would u stand by me thru thick and thin and go with me to the ends of the earth for what I believe in? Love.Live.Believe. and maybe we can make it.
6/13/11
once upon a death night, an ocean of
people, nothing but grim clothes and shoes. A cat crawls around here and there. But the people's face remain the same a mask of sadness and misery. The smell of ash lingers in the air, mixed with fear and loneliness. People wish for the sun to shine in their eyes, for it to stop hiding in the dark abyss of space. As if the sun could wash away their pain and suffering. A man holds a banana as he prays for his son to return home unharmed and safe. Another saves fries as his only meal, hoping it will be enough. They often get sick, die, and throw-up their meals at the end of the day, but it's their life. The life in Wiz.
6/15/11
The Mellow Magic
In the absence of drama, Carefree life seems to welcome me these days, The warm, golden light tickles my skin as i close my eyes, The low hum of harmony playing as my forever song, A cool breeze whispers thru me, Telling me to just relax, I embrace the light of soothing sounds and warmth, my forever mellow wrap.
Dispair and death consumes my mind; taking all the light, robbing me if the golden embrace, and just when i think it can't get worse, i cry, but soon, very soon, blood replaces my tears, a trail of nightmares i fear as i lay my head, i dont pray because i know it wont ever be okay.fake smiles line the aisles, the same script being used and hopefully it wont lead me to my crypt; untombed..
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
the unknown can kill
chapter 1:
i can't explain it... execept by saying it's like screaming in a room full of people and they just watch, not caring of what you are going through. and living a lie everybody wants you to live and never allowed to be yourself. they live in fear of the unexpected but when someone like me lives for the unexpected, you learn to fear what is expected.''is it normal to feel so out of control of your own body?'' i ask myself. everyone says theres a choice but i can't help but think that mine is already made up without my knowledge. i close my eyes and think about everything thats happened to me and let out a sigh. ''it's true'' i told myself and opened my eyes. i got off my bed and walk to my window to look at the sea. it's a cool, brisk night and the wind carries the smell of the sea. i walked out on the balcony and grab the rail as i close my eyes. i step on the bottom rail and put all my weight on it, i am about to jump off the rail and into the rocks that line the sea below when all of a sudden there is a knock at my door. i climb back down and head towards the door. i open it and i see tasmi, my twin, so to speak. we are very close friends but we have a connection like nobody else, we can sense each others emotions and thoughts and from her worried look i can tell she knows what i was about to do. tasmi pushed through the door and grab me in a tight hug, throwing me on the floor and crying. ''i thought...you tried to...kill yourself!!'' she cried ''yeah. i guess i did'' i admited ''why?'' she whispered. i could not tell her my reason, maybe because i did not know it fully myself. i sighed ''i dont know tasmi, i just dont know.'' her hug tighted ''promise me, that you won't... try again.'' she whispered softy ''i don't know if i can..'' i started to say but tasmi interrupted me ''PROMISE ME!!'' she yelled, crying. it stayed quiet for a while then i whispered ''i promise'' tasmi's grip relaxed and i let out in a sigh ''tasmi..'' ''i am sorry for being pushy. it's just that... i really care about you, you know? and to think that some day you might be.... i don't know what i'll do if you weren't here.'' she said calmy ''i know'' i repiled softy ''we should get you in bed, tasmi.'' she nodded and i began to stand up. i saw her outfit it was a light green 'party' dress as she called it and it was sparking. she wore high heels now worn from running and her light blond hair was up in a bun and she wore long white gloves. it was a beautiful combination. then i looked at myself in the mirror. i had on, a dark blue dress, high heels, long white gloves like tasmi and a deep blue amulet that was passed down throughout my family. my dark hair was hanging in my face and my violet eyes sparked in the moon light, we just got back from a ball and tasmi and i searched for days for the perfect dresses, and now it all seems so pointless. i turned around to see tasmi still on the floor, i grabbed her hand and led her down the hall and to her room. i helped her into her bed. ''ayeka are you going to be okay?'' tasmi asked ''yeah i am just tired, i'll be fine. i am going to bed, night tasmi'' i said calmy she nodded ''good night ayeka'' i walked to the door, opened it, walked out, and shut it behind me. i sat outside the door thinking... what am i going to do now? i should tell her, but how? how should i tell her when even I have no idea what is happening? ''but i have to..'' i said out loud
chapter two:
i woke up in my bed, in a daze i stared at the doorway thinking of last night. how am i going to do it? what do i say? i would sound crazy if i tell her the truth. that i suddenly felt to need to jump and end my life. why did i want to end my life again? i can't really remember. i just remember thinking that i have no choices. but everyone has choices right? what happened last night? or is it possible that whatever it is was happening before last night? i can't tell tasmi yet, at least not til i know what is happening. ''hey ayeka! are you up yet?'' tasmi yelled ''yeah.'' i said ''ayeka? are you okay?'' tasmi said while opening the door. ''yeah, i am fine. just thinking.'' i replied ''oh. well i'll be downstairs if you need anything. oh and by the way dentak will be here soon so..'' tasmi paused with a smile and i smiled in return then she continued ''you better get ready cuz i am not going to be down there when he comes, and you now he'll wait all night for you.'' she wriggled her eyes as she said the last part. i laughed ''i know and he is really cute.'' i said dreamily. dentak is a guy who is easily described in three letters H. O. T he has jet black hair in a sort of side bang style with clear blue eyes, and he is a couple of inches taller than me. and on top of that he is ready strong but not bulky. i smiled as tasmi smiled back she said ''i gonna go now so you can get ready. bye and be nice.'' she laughed as she shut the door and that made me laugh. i pulled the sheets off and stood in my dress from last night. i guess i forgot to change, i thought to myself. i walked over to my bathroom and looked in the mirror to see the damage. i still had my makeup on only now it is smeared and i had really bad bedhead, it was so bad that it looked like a tumbleweed got stuck on my head. i sighed and started the shower, i climbed in and prayed that somehow the tumbleweed will turn back into normal hair.
when i got out of the shower i dried off, and quickly got dressed in a black dress that said 'flirty' (and no this is a dress i picked out not tasmi). i was releaved when i looked in the mirror and saw my normal dark hair. i brushed my teeth and then brushed my hair to make perfect curls.i reapplied my makeup and finished just as the doorbell ranged. i did a quick glance over and ran downstairs to answer it. it was dentak and he looked great. he was wearing jeans, a tshirt and a leather jacket. yeah it's cliche but i thought it was a great look on him. ''you look amazing ayeka.'' he said smiling ''you too'' i replied smiling back ''so can i come in?'' he asked ''what? oh yeah, right, come in." i said dumbly. why do i always get so nervous around him? okay just.. be cool, calm, he is just a normal guy who is really hot and might possible love you too. and your alone with him!!! not good! oh god, what am i going to do? i never been alone with a guy before!! great okay just breathe. i took a deep breath and slowly let it out. we walked into the living room and sat in the cozy leather chairs tasmi picked out. dentak took the seat next to me. it was quiet for a while and i thought about reading a book or turning on the t.v but i thought against it because it would be rude. i could not handle the slience anymore so i shouted "ugh! talk already!!" he gave me a shocked look as if he could not believe i said it then he said "okay ummm.... i like pie?" "pie? what's wrong with cookies,huh?" i asked "nothing it's just i really don't like them that much." he replied "well then i don't like you much and now you need to leave!" i ordered "what? you know what, fine!" he said angrily and headed towards the door and before he left he said "and i just dont dislike cookies, i HATE them!" he yelled i ran to the door, just as he closed it, i opened it and shouted "you, pie loving basterd!!!" i slammed the door and returned to the living room and sat in the chair. i started to laugh, i dont know why tho. maybe because me and dentak had a fight over cookies and pie.... "what just happened?" i asked myself
chapter 3:
tasmi got home early and i told what happened with me and dentak. "okay so let me get this straight a hot guy is totally crazy about you and when you two are finally alone all you can do is start the great dessert war?" tasmi asked "well yeah...i dont know what came over me" i answered "maybe you were hungry and PMSing at the same time." tasmi said trying to hide a giggle "not funny" i replied not finding it amusing at all "sorry, well maybe you could talk to him." tasmi said "i called him a pie loving basterd." i repiled tasmi lost control and cracked up laughing and i realized what i just said and started laughing too. "well i should get some rest to say sorry to dentak tomorrow, night tasmi." i said feeling bad that this fun has to end. "yeah. guess you do. well night cookie bitch." tasmi said i gave her a shocked look and she went to the door and before she shut it she said "just kidding. karma's a bitch huh?" she said laughing i rolled my eyes and climbed into my pj's and flopped on my bed. i then moved the covers and replaced them once i settled myself in. i turned off the light and dreamed about a piece of pie named dentak, but then i ate him. (hahaha)
i woke up early in the morning and got ready to go to dentak's house. i got cleaned and was dressed in a few mintues. i thought about waking tasmi up but i figured she needed her beauty sleep. i checked to make sure tasmi was still asleep then i walked out the door and to dentak's house. when i got to the front porch i was nervous and felt stupid for coming but i forced myself to be brave. i knocked three times and rang the doorbell quite a bit before he answered. "yes? oh ayeka it's you. do you want to come in?" he asked politey "yes, i would love to come in." i replied feeling unsure what to say to him now. i stepped into the house. "so, what do you what?" he asked "i came to say sorry to you for the umm.. food fight. i dont know what came over me. tasmi thinks i was...um.." i pause not knowing if i should tell a guy this. "what did she think it was?" he asked calmly "she thought i was PMSing and hungry at the same time. pretty funny huh?" i said faking a laugh "yeah..i guess it is" he said laughing
after i made peace with dentak i returned home and went into my room. i sat on my bed just thinking like i normally do. i took a deep breath and slowly let it out. i hated any noise when i did my thinking even the sound of my own breath so normally i would breath very quietly and slow. i thought that i should be happy, me and dentak were friends again.. but still i have no clue as to what is happening, then the images went through my head.... me standing on railing high above a cliff with rocks waiting below and a strong, angry ocean warning me, i dont listen and jump into the ocean i fall and fall endlessly into the ocean and then a bright violet light appears. i float toward it but do not reach it and then i float back down into the pitch black water but even then i fight for the light and fail. i sat straight up, i was covered in sweat and breathing rapidly. i always have these images but have no idea what they could mean. i have often thought of it as my death but i never actually seem to die in the images i just..get trapped..forever in the dark...alone.
chapter 4:
tasmi knocked on my door "ayeka?" she said "yeah tasmi" i replied and sat up on my bed and she walked over to my bed and sat down "i was thinking that maybe we should take a trip. go do something and get out of town for a while and it'll be like old times." she said sadly but it was not because of what she said it was what she was remembering. and i knew she was remembering me almost jumping. i shuddered and returned to the present. "yeah. sounds fun." i said and put on a fake smile to try to convince her that i was okay. and it worked.... "you aren't fooling no one" tasmi said damn.... "what do you mean?" i asked dumbly "you are upset about something." tasmi stated "yeah well isn't that the more reason to go on the trip? to forget worries and troubles?" i asked "i guess i have to agree with that." tasmi said "well when are we going? and where?" i asked "good question. i thought you would have some place you wanted to go to." tasmi said looking puzzled "ummm the crimson isle?" i asked tasmi gave me a puzzled look "where is that?" tasmi asked "i have no clue, i just heard of it somewhere" i said trying to figure out where i heard it. "well we need to research this place." tasmi said "right, to find out where it is." i said nodding tasmi looked confused and said "not what i meant, i mean we should research it to find out what clothes we need to pack and buy. but i guess finding it is important too." tasmi said "i swear you are just using this trip thing to shop." i said "awwww! you know me so well!" tasmi said while smiling "thats what i feared" i said and layed back down on my bed and covered my face with my pillow. i thought i slept for a couple of hours when tasmi came into my room carrying a laptop. she was looking at the screen but stopped for a second looked at me and said "hey you woke up! i thought you were dead. i tried waking you but you just slept." tasmi walked over to where i was sitting on my bed and brought the laptop to me "i have been researching the crimson isle while you took a beauty nap." tasmi said and grinned as she pushed the laptop toward me and i read the different browser windows. most of them said it was not real while some said it's haunted by un-natural forces and those who went to the island will never return. i stared at it longer than finally looked up at tasmi. "do you really believe this?" i asked her "what? stories from stinky smelly men who gone insane at sea? not a chance. but...." she then pulled up another window. it was a research center page with an article "they made studies in the surrounding area and concluded that something strange is happening over there." said tasmi i couldn't explain it to tasmi but i had the urge to go to the crimson isle. i must be going nuts i thought.
chapter 5:
that night i packed all of my clothes not knowing what to bring. i have already made up my mind that i am going to crimson isle whether it's haunted or not, and i hoped not. i closed my suitcase and took a deep breathe and let i out in a sigh as i let myself fall on the bed. i closed my eyes and i drifted into something the seem otherworldly. i was floating above the ocean and could smell actually smell, the salt water below. i felt the wind push again my body. "this is not my normal dream, i am dead?" i asked to no one. i thought about it then a voice said no you are not dead...yet. "w-who said that!? and what do you mean not 'yet'?" i asked scared of the not yet part. the voice spoke again. you will know in due time. the answers you seek are here. i looked around and saw a small island come into view. it was a normal looking island except the lakes andriver appeared red like....blood. "the crimson isle" i spoke in awe. yes. it is here that you journey will begin, and eventually end. be prepared ayi because everything you see now is a lie born from truth, and you need to change into the real you. the voice said "i don't understand. but i'll try my best." i said confused but i knew there is something wrong and that I needed to fix it. that is all we ask of you, ayi. and now you may return. thee blood is pure n' deep may thee return to meet. the voice said and when the chant ended i was on my bed back in my room. i felt lightheaded but at least i knew someone wanted me on crimson isle and i will get my answers. i layed back down and got some rest because something told me that i would need my energy for the journey ahead.
i woke up to see tasmi sitting on my bed, starring at me. i sat up and yawned "what are you doing in here so early?" i asked rubbing my eyes she repiled "i know you packed, and i know you're leaving. and i also guessed it was to the crimson isle. and then last night i felt something it was like you weren't here but then i checked and you looked like you were sleeping. i couldn't figure it out then i felt your presence again. it was like..i dont know... like you didn't want to have the connection any more." she said sadly then continued "i just want to know. what are you planning to do? once you get to crimson isle, what are you going to do there?" she asked i thought for awhile before i replied. "it's just a trip." i said in a whisper, not sure whether i was saying it to tasmi or to myself.
chapter 6:
i waited as tasmi packed, which seem as long as a person trying to ride a donkey from canada to south america. so i went on the computer to find out more about the crimson isle. mysterious disappearences read a link, i clicked it crimson isle takes another said the top i contined reading a local woman, clarey has gone missing she was last seen walking along the shoreline and disappeared with out a trace. her family reported her missing but a couple of days afterward they themselves were gone. some say it's a cursed place, others say it is a foolish prank for attention. no one can say but since this started in 1775 who really knows anymore? "aye tis a cursed place, some believe the devil himself walks the ground and takes your soul then feeds ye body to his wicked minions. best to stay clear of here unless ye have blood pure n' deep." ~ captain samuel reported 'pure n' deep? the voice said the exact same thing but what does it meant?' i thought "ayeka! i am ready! lets go!" tasmi yelled "finally!" i said "hey! i heard that!" "you were meant to" i repiled with a smile "well sorry if i want to look amazing before i meet my 'death'" she said air quoting death. i rolled my eyes and we both laughed "okay lets go before you pack the whole house too." i said, grabbing my bags "okay." tasmi said walking downstairs with her bags.
i called ahead and ordered a taxis, i was suprised when i saw he waiting calmly for us and not screaming get your crap in the back, and ass in the seat, i want to get paid! as many other taxis drivers would have. we put some of our bags in the back but most have to be in the backseat with us. the drive to the airport was a quite one. tasmi was looking at a magizine and i was listening to my ipod while looking out the window, making sure we were heading the right way. As it began to rain....
i can't explain it... execept by saying it's like screaming in a room full of people and they just watch, not caring of what you are going through. and living a lie everybody wants you to live and never allowed to be yourself. they live in fear of the unexpected but when someone like me lives for the unexpected, you learn to fear what is expected.''is it normal to feel so out of control of your own body?'' i ask myself. everyone says theres a choice but i can't help but think that mine is already made up without my knowledge. i close my eyes and think about everything thats happened to me and let out a sigh. ''it's true'' i told myself and opened my eyes. i got off my bed and walk to my window to look at the sea. it's a cool, brisk night and the wind carries the smell of the sea. i walked out on the balcony and grab the rail as i close my eyes. i step on the bottom rail and put all my weight on it, i am about to jump off the rail and into the rocks that line the sea below when all of a sudden there is a knock at my door. i climb back down and head towards the door. i open it and i see tasmi, my twin, so to speak. we are very close friends but we have a connection like nobody else, we can sense each others emotions and thoughts and from her worried look i can tell she knows what i was about to do. tasmi pushed through the door and grab me in a tight hug, throwing me on the floor and crying. ''i thought...you tried to...kill yourself!!'' she cried ''yeah. i guess i did'' i admited ''why?'' she whispered. i could not tell her my reason, maybe because i did not know it fully myself. i sighed ''i dont know tasmi, i just dont know.'' her hug tighted ''promise me, that you won't... try again.'' she whispered softy ''i don't know if i can..'' i started to say but tasmi interrupted me ''PROMISE ME!!'' she yelled, crying. it stayed quiet for a while then i whispered ''i promise'' tasmi's grip relaxed and i let out in a sigh ''tasmi..'' ''i am sorry for being pushy. it's just that... i really care about you, you know? and to think that some day you might be.... i don't know what i'll do if you weren't here.'' she said calmy ''i know'' i repiled softy ''we should get you in bed, tasmi.'' she nodded and i began to stand up. i saw her outfit it was a light green 'party' dress as she called it and it was sparking. she wore high heels now worn from running and her light blond hair was up in a bun and she wore long white gloves. it was a beautiful combination. then i looked at myself in the mirror. i had on, a dark blue dress, high heels, long white gloves like tasmi and a deep blue amulet that was passed down throughout my family. my dark hair was hanging in my face and my violet eyes sparked in the moon light, we just got back from a ball and tasmi and i searched for days for the perfect dresses, and now it all seems so pointless. i turned around to see tasmi still on the floor, i grabbed her hand and led her down the hall and to her room. i helped her into her bed. ''ayeka are you going to be okay?'' tasmi asked ''yeah i am just tired, i'll be fine. i am going to bed, night tasmi'' i said calmy she nodded ''good night ayeka'' i walked to the door, opened it, walked out, and shut it behind me. i sat outside the door thinking... what am i going to do now? i should tell her, but how? how should i tell her when even I have no idea what is happening? ''but i have to..'' i said out loud
chapter two:
i woke up in my bed, in a daze i stared at the doorway thinking of last night. how am i going to do it? what do i say? i would sound crazy if i tell her the truth. that i suddenly felt to need to jump and end my life. why did i want to end my life again? i can't really remember. i just remember thinking that i have no choices. but everyone has choices right? what happened last night? or is it possible that whatever it is was happening before last night? i can't tell tasmi yet, at least not til i know what is happening. ''hey ayeka! are you up yet?'' tasmi yelled ''yeah.'' i said ''ayeka? are you okay?'' tasmi said while opening the door. ''yeah, i am fine. just thinking.'' i replied ''oh. well i'll be downstairs if you need anything. oh and by the way dentak will be here soon so..'' tasmi paused with a smile and i smiled in return then she continued ''you better get ready cuz i am not going to be down there when he comes, and you now he'll wait all night for you.'' she wriggled her eyes as she said the last part. i laughed ''i know and he is really cute.'' i said dreamily. dentak is a guy who is easily described in three letters H. O. T he has jet black hair in a sort of side bang style with clear blue eyes, and he is a couple of inches taller than me. and on top of that he is ready strong but not bulky. i smiled as tasmi smiled back she said ''i gonna go now so you can get ready. bye and be nice.'' she laughed as she shut the door and that made me laugh. i pulled the sheets off and stood in my dress from last night. i guess i forgot to change, i thought to myself. i walked over to my bathroom and looked in the mirror to see the damage. i still had my makeup on only now it is smeared and i had really bad bedhead, it was so bad that it looked like a tumbleweed got stuck on my head. i sighed and started the shower, i climbed in and prayed that somehow the tumbleweed will turn back into normal hair.
when i got out of the shower i dried off, and quickly got dressed in a black dress that said 'flirty' (and no this is a dress i picked out not tasmi). i was releaved when i looked in the mirror and saw my normal dark hair. i brushed my teeth and then brushed my hair to make perfect curls.i reapplied my makeup and finished just as the doorbell ranged. i did a quick glance over and ran downstairs to answer it. it was dentak and he looked great. he was wearing jeans, a tshirt and a leather jacket. yeah it's cliche but i thought it was a great look on him. ''you look amazing ayeka.'' he said smiling ''you too'' i replied smiling back ''so can i come in?'' he asked ''what? oh yeah, right, come in." i said dumbly. why do i always get so nervous around him? okay just.. be cool, calm, he is just a normal guy who is really hot and might possible love you too. and your alone with him!!! not good! oh god, what am i going to do? i never been alone with a guy before!! great okay just breathe. i took a deep breath and slowly let it out. we walked into the living room and sat in the cozy leather chairs tasmi picked out. dentak took the seat next to me. it was quiet for a while and i thought about reading a book or turning on the t.v but i thought against it because it would be rude. i could not handle the slience anymore so i shouted "ugh! talk already!!" he gave me a shocked look as if he could not believe i said it then he said "okay ummm.... i like pie?" "pie? what's wrong with cookies,huh?" i asked "nothing it's just i really don't like them that much." he replied "well then i don't like you much and now you need to leave!" i ordered "what? you know what, fine!" he said angrily and headed towards the door and before he left he said "and i just dont dislike cookies, i HATE them!" he yelled i ran to the door, just as he closed it, i opened it and shouted "you, pie loving basterd!!!" i slammed the door and returned to the living room and sat in the chair. i started to laugh, i dont know why tho. maybe because me and dentak had a fight over cookies and pie.... "what just happened?" i asked myself
chapter 3:
tasmi got home early and i told what happened with me and dentak. "okay so let me get this straight a hot guy is totally crazy about you and when you two are finally alone all you can do is start the great dessert war?" tasmi asked "well yeah...i dont know what came over me" i answered "maybe you were hungry and PMSing at the same time." tasmi said trying to hide a giggle "not funny" i replied not finding it amusing at all "sorry, well maybe you could talk to him." tasmi said "i called him a pie loving basterd." i repiled tasmi lost control and cracked up laughing and i realized what i just said and started laughing too. "well i should get some rest to say sorry to dentak tomorrow, night tasmi." i said feeling bad that this fun has to end. "yeah. guess you do. well night cookie bitch." tasmi said i gave her a shocked look and she went to the door and before she shut it she said "just kidding. karma's a bitch huh?" she said laughing i rolled my eyes and climbed into my pj's and flopped on my bed. i then moved the covers and replaced them once i settled myself in. i turned off the light and dreamed about a piece of pie named dentak, but then i ate him. (hahaha)
i woke up early in the morning and got ready to go to dentak's house. i got cleaned and was dressed in a few mintues. i thought about waking tasmi up but i figured she needed her beauty sleep. i checked to make sure tasmi was still asleep then i walked out the door and to dentak's house. when i got to the front porch i was nervous and felt stupid for coming but i forced myself to be brave. i knocked three times and rang the doorbell quite a bit before he answered. "yes? oh ayeka it's you. do you want to come in?" he asked politey "yes, i would love to come in." i replied feeling unsure what to say to him now. i stepped into the house. "so, what do you what?" he asked "i came to say sorry to you for the umm.. food fight. i dont know what came over me. tasmi thinks i was...um.." i pause not knowing if i should tell a guy this. "what did she think it was?" he asked calmly "she thought i was PMSing and hungry at the same time. pretty funny huh?" i said faking a laugh "yeah..i guess it is" he said laughing
after i made peace with dentak i returned home and went into my room. i sat on my bed just thinking like i normally do. i took a deep breath and slowly let it out. i hated any noise when i did my thinking even the sound of my own breath so normally i would breath very quietly and slow. i thought that i should be happy, me and dentak were friends again.. but still i have no clue as to what is happening, then the images went through my head.... me standing on railing high above a cliff with rocks waiting below and a strong, angry ocean warning me, i dont listen and jump into the ocean i fall and fall endlessly into the ocean and then a bright violet light appears. i float toward it but do not reach it and then i float back down into the pitch black water but even then i fight for the light and fail. i sat straight up, i was covered in sweat and breathing rapidly. i always have these images but have no idea what they could mean. i have often thought of it as my death but i never actually seem to die in the images i just..get trapped..forever in the dark...alone.
chapter 4:
tasmi knocked on my door "ayeka?" she said "yeah tasmi" i replied and sat up on my bed and she walked over to my bed and sat down "i was thinking that maybe we should take a trip. go do something and get out of town for a while and it'll be like old times." she said sadly but it was not because of what she said it was what she was remembering. and i knew she was remembering me almost jumping. i shuddered and returned to the present. "yeah. sounds fun." i said and put on a fake smile to try to convince her that i was okay. and it worked.... "you aren't fooling no one" tasmi said damn.... "what do you mean?" i asked dumbly "you are upset about something." tasmi stated "yeah well isn't that the more reason to go on the trip? to forget worries and troubles?" i asked "i guess i have to agree with that." tasmi said "well when are we going? and where?" i asked "good question. i thought you would have some place you wanted to go to." tasmi said looking puzzled "ummm the crimson isle?" i asked tasmi gave me a puzzled look "where is that?" tasmi asked "i have no clue, i just heard of it somewhere" i said trying to figure out where i heard it. "well we need to research this place." tasmi said "right, to find out where it is." i said nodding tasmi looked confused and said "not what i meant, i mean we should research it to find out what clothes we need to pack and buy. but i guess finding it is important too." tasmi said "i swear you are just using this trip thing to shop." i said "awwww! you know me so well!" tasmi said while smiling "thats what i feared" i said and layed back down on my bed and covered my face with my pillow. i thought i slept for a couple of hours when tasmi came into my room carrying a laptop. she was looking at the screen but stopped for a second looked at me and said "hey you woke up! i thought you were dead. i tried waking you but you just slept." tasmi walked over to where i was sitting on my bed and brought the laptop to me "i have been researching the crimson isle while you took a beauty nap." tasmi said and grinned as she pushed the laptop toward me and i read the different browser windows. most of them said it was not real while some said it's haunted by un-natural forces and those who went to the island will never return. i stared at it longer than finally looked up at tasmi. "do you really believe this?" i asked her "what? stories from stinky smelly men who gone insane at sea? not a chance. but...." she then pulled up another window. it was a research center page with an article "they made studies in the surrounding area and concluded that something strange is happening over there." said tasmi i couldn't explain it to tasmi but i had the urge to go to the crimson isle. i must be going nuts i thought.
chapter 5:
that night i packed all of my clothes not knowing what to bring. i have already made up my mind that i am going to crimson isle whether it's haunted or not, and i hoped not. i closed my suitcase and took a deep breathe and let i out in a sigh as i let myself fall on the bed. i closed my eyes and i drifted into something the seem otherworldly. i was floating above the ocean and could smell actually smell, the salt water below. i felt the wind push again my body. "this is not my normal dream, i am dead?" i asked to no one. i thought about it then a voice said no you are not dead...yet. "w-who said that!? and what do you mean not 'yet'?" i asked scared of the not yet part. the voice spoke again. you will know in due time. the answers you seek are here. i looked around and saw a small island come into view. it was a normal looking island except the lakes andriver appeared red like....blood. "the crimson isle" i spoke in awe. yes. it is here that you journey will begin, and eventually end. be prepared ayi because everything you see now is a lie born from truth, and you need to change into the real you. the voice said "i don't understand. but i'll try my best." i said confused but i knew there is something wrong and that I needed to fix it. that is all we ask of you, ayi. and now you may return. thee blood is pure n' deep may thee return to meet. the voice said and when the chant ended i was on my bed back in my room. i felt lightheaded but at least i knew someone wanted me on crimson isle and i will get my answers. i layed back down and got some rest because something told me that i would need my energy for the journey ahead.
i woke up to see tasmi sitting on my bed, starring at me. i sat up and yawned "what are you doing in here so early?" i asked rubbing my eyes she repiled "i know you packed, and i know you're leaving. and i also guessed it was to the crimson isle. and then last night i felt something it was like you weren't here but then i checked and you looked like you were sleeping. i couldn't figure it out then i felt your presence again. it was like..i dont know... like you didn't want to have the connection any more." she said sadly then continued "i just want to know. what are you planning to do? once you get to crimson isle, what are you going to do there?" she asked i thought for awhile before i replied. "it's just a trip." i said in a whisper, not sure whether i was saying it to tasmi or to myself.
chapter 6:
i waited as tasmi packed, which seem as long as a person trying to ride a donkey from canada to south america. so i went on the computer to find out more about the crimson isle. mysterious disappearences read a link, i clicked it crimson isle takes another said the top i contined reading a local woman, clarey has gone missing she was last seen walking along the shoreline and disappeared with out a trace. her family reported her missing but a couple of days afterward they themselves were gone. some say it's a cursed place, others say it is a foolish prank for attention. no one can say but since this started in 1775 who really knows anymore? "aye tis a cursed place, some believe the devil himself walks the ground and takes your soul then feeds ye body to his wicked minions. best to stay clear of here unless ye have blood pure n' deep." ~ captain samuel reported 'pure n' deep? the voice said the exact same thing but what does it meant?' i thought "ayeka! i am ready! lets go!" tasmi yelled "finally!" i said "hey! i heard that!" "you were meant to" i repiled with a smile "well sorry if i want to look amazing before i meet my 'death'" she said air quoting death. i rolled my eyes and we both laughed "okay lets go before you pack the whole house too." i said, grabbing my bags "okay." tasmi said walking downstairs with her bags.
i called ahead and ordered a taxis, i was suprised when i saw he waiting calmly for us and not screaming get your crap in the back, and ass in the seat, i want to get paid! as many other taxis drivers would have. we put some of our bags in the back but most have to be in the backseat with us. the drive to the airport was a quite one. tasmi was looking at a magizine and i was listening to my ipod while looking out the window, making sure we were heading the right way. As it began to rain....
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